My daughter’s Samsung Chrome-book decides to stop working, necessitating her use of my beloved Mac to complete homework assignments……and watch nonsense on demand …..

Me: I think maybe your Chrome-book might be overheated….so to avoid such a thing happening to my Mac you can use it from 6.30 to 10.30 at night….as opposed to all day..

Daughter looks horrified….no, pained as if suddenly in the grip of excruciating pain…

Daughter: So you’re telling me that when I get home from school I have to wait 2 hours before I can go online….

Me: The world does not revolve around the internet….

Daughter: I think you’ll find it does mother…

Me: The point is…there are other activities to engage with…read a book……write a short story…you’re an artist…paint a picture….

My daughter scans my face in search of..sanity…

Me: If you have to go online you can always use your phone…

She ponders on the idea…

Daughter: I think I might use the 2 hours to strangle myself with the cord of my phone charger so I get to heaven and Jesus will be there feeding the 5000 and he’ll give me something to do…like maybe hand out napkins or something….