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After her Psychology and English Lit PPE exams…

Daughter: Can we get a lift?

Me: What?

Daughter: Commonly known as an elevator in America.

Me: Have you been taking illegal substances?

Daughter: A stairlift then.

Me: You’re 17.

Daughter: Yes mother, I am and I have laboured over two exams this afternoon. I cannot climb stairs today.

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