My daughter preens herself in the hallway mirror before heading out to meet friends in Brixton…The dilapidated Converse trainers she’s had forever complete her bizarrely minimal outfit….

Me: Haven’t you forgotten something ?

She gives me a..’Why are you ALWAYS here?’ look…

Me: Shouldn’t you be wearing leggings ?

…and glances down at the pitiful excuse for a shirt barely covering her behind…then back at me..

Daughter: You are so cute mother…

…and grins…

Me: Shouldn’t you be wearing something with that shirt..?

Daughter: Cute!

She flings open the front door…

Daughter: So OLD! and so CUTE!

..and struts out of the house as if she owns the world..