Daughter: I’m not going to be on a gap year, travelling across South America and bump into my long-lost brother am I ?

Me: What ?

Daughter: A long-lost brother on the other side of the world.

Me: You’ve lost me.

Daughter: Is there something you need to tell me mother ?

Me: What ?

Daughter: Is there…..another child ?

Me: Don’t be ridiculous.

Daughter: These things are better out in the open.

Me: If I had another child I would know.

Daughter: Are you sure ?

Me: I think I would know if I had another child.

Daughter: You think ?

Me: Can you..stop!