Browsing the film section in a high street store selling second-hand computer games and DVDs I call home to ask if she wants anything….
Me: Have you seen ‘Chef’? It’s a wonderful, uplifting, charming film..Maybe we could watch it together..
Daughter: None of those adjectives work for me mum…
Me: How about ‘Mr Turner’…..the film about the eccentric British painter…stunning watercolour landscapes…unfettered creative passion…wonderful scenery….. tour de force performance by Timothy Spall….
A pregnant pause…then…
Me: OK, what would you like?
Daughter: Have they got Sin City?
I run my finger along films starting with the letter S……
Me: That’s an 18 Cert and contains strong bloody violence
Daughter: Your point ..?
Me: Anyway they don’t have it..
I find the requested DVD in the TV series section and peruse the sleeve..
Me: It contains bloody violence and gore..
Daughter: Sorry you’ve lost me.
Me: Anyway…they don’t seem to have that either…
Daughter: Kill Bill 2?
Don’t have to find the DVD to know it’s Quentin Tarantino so flowers and sunsets and adorable fluffy puppies WON’T be in it..
Me: No, sorry..
A long long pause……..
Daughter: Mum, I know you’re lying ….
Me: Why would I do that…?
Daughter: Because you don’t want me watching films containing gore and violence….however, you should know that as a teenager I am duty bound to defy you and will of course watch them anyway…
I lament the disappearance of a cute 6 year old with several missing teeth…
Me: I am slightly disturbed by the films you seem drawn to. Have you noticed how they are seldom without blood…gore…violence…death….?
Daughter: This from the woman who made me watch U-Carmen with her when I was still in primary school….
Me: Did I?
Daughter: Yes mum..
Me: You have such a good memory…!!
Daughter: Yes….I remember someone being slapped…..and then there was singing…someone being strangled…. and then there was singing….and someone being stabbed up against a mesh wire fence outside a church….and then…. there was singing..
Me: And wasn’t the singing glorious!
Daughter: You know how you said you were slightly disturbed…?