From Disney Channel And All Things Pink…..

Browsing the film section in a high street store selling second-hand computer games and DVDs I call home to ask if she wants anything….

Me: Have you seen ‘Chef’?  It’s a wonderful, uplifting, charming film..Maybe we could watch it together..

Daughter: None of those adjectives work for me mum…

Me:  How about ‘Mr Turner’…..the film about the eccentric British painter…stunning watercolour landscapes…unfettered creative passion…wonderful scenery….. tour de force performance by Timothy Spall….

A pregnant pause…then…

Daughter: What?!!!!!!?!!!!

And then….

Daughter: What?!!!!

Me: OK, what would you like?

Daughter: Have they got Sin City?

I run my finger along films starting with the letter S……

Me: That’s an 18 Cert and contains strong bloody violence

Daughter: Your point ..?

Me: Anyway they don’t have it..

Daughter: Supernatural?

I find the requested DVD in the TV series section and peruse the sleeve..

Me: It contains bloody violence and gore..

Daughter: Sorry you’ve lost me.

Me: Anyway…they don’t seem to have that either…

Daughter: Kill Bill 2?

Don’t have to find the DVD to know it’s Quentin Tarantino so flowers and sunsets and adorable fluffy puppies WON’T be in it..

Me: No, sorry..

A long long pause……..

Daughter: Mum, I know you’re lying ….

Me: Why would I do that…?

Daughter: Because you don’t want me watching films containing gore and violence….however, you should know that as a teenager I am duty bound to defy you and will of course watch them anyway…

I lament the disappearance of a cute 6 year old with several missing teeth…

Me: I am slightly disturbed by the films you seem drawn to. Have you noticed how they are seldom without blood…gore…violence…death….?

Daughter: This from the woman who made me watch U-Carmen with her when I was still in primary school….

Me: Did I?

Daughter: Yes mum..

Me: You have such a good memory…!!

Daughter: Yes….I remember someone being slapped…..and then there was singing…someone being strangled…. and then there was singing….and someone being stabbed up against a mesh wire fence outside a church….and then…. there was singing..

Me: And wasn’t the singing glorious!

Daughter: You know how you said you were slightly disturbed…?


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