She helps herself to chocolate Brioche rolls, custard creams…jelly snakes…mango….then rubbish….more rubbish…and yet more rubbish…and still…..she’s a bean pole…
Me: I’m a little worried about your eating habits at the moment…
Daughter : What do you mean?
Me: You’re eating a lot of sugar…a lot of rubbish basically.
Daughter : What’s rubbish to you is salad to me.
Me: I’m serious. You’ve seen that picture of me when I was 15?… the one in the living room… ?
Daughter : Is that a rhetorical question….How could I not see you…you were HUGE…I mean SWOLLEN as in larger than life…as in MASSIVE
Me: Ok, point made and point taken
Daughter : You were on the fat side of FAT mum..
Me: That’s because I used to eat a lot rubbish, bars of chocolate and sweets and all sorts of nonsense.
Daughter : Like the photographer….
Daughter : Do you see the photographer in that picture of you, aunty Yinka, aunty Kemi and uncle Tunde?
Me: Of course not. He was behind the camera.
Daughter : No mum. You don’t see him because he wasn’t there. He wasn’t there….. because you ATE him…
Me: I ate the photographer?
Daughter : Yes mum, you ate the photographer. ..