I get emotional on the way to her school for the end of year A Level Art exhibition…

Me: It’s the end of an era.

A mother’s wistful sigh…

Me: Exams over…Corfu in July…Art College in September…then Uni…

Her eyebrows do a strange dance…

Me: A new chapter…

I look at my Amazonian 18-year-old and see her with measles…baby teeth…afro puffs…

Me: I’m trying to have a heart to heart with you…

Daughter: Can’t we do this in the hearse? I mean I assume as next of kin I’ll be travelling with the casket…You send me a sign, I respond, we have a conversation…